


The colour of the sun

by Bunnybunkins



Category: Holby City
Genre: Death, F/F, Grief/Mourning, Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 08:20:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17179304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bunnybunkins/pseuds/Bunnybunkins
Summary: More a Leah story with a little of SerenaI like Leah I wish we had known more about her so this my offering.





	The colour of the sun

Leah sat huddled on the cold step in isolated section of the hospital. The tears she had forced herself to hold back, came now. Silent in waves as they washed down her cheeks. 

It was dark, outside the window the city was alive offering the odd shadow across the walls, but it was dark and she was glad. She wanted to be hidden, to hide and not be found.

Patients die, she knew this. Had even seen this before, many times whilst training but this. Lily, her name, her name is, was Lily. Her hair the colour of the sun, so wild and free and eyes, deep green, sought you out. 

The smile she had ready, she offered every day, even as disease wrecked her body. The signs it so evident and yet nothing could erase who she was. 

Eight years old and she had experienced the world, knew the world far more than anyone Leah had known. Endless knowledge and questions, never once did Leah see her cry, even flinch from any needle or test. Ready to offer her insight into what it was for. 

Two weeks. That was all she had known her for. Her first day on shift of children's high dependence ward, her new placement and she had felt shy and out of place and there Lily had been "Did you know tomatoes are not a vegetable?" Her face lit with the idea she knew something no one else did and of course Leah had played along. 

Everyday Lily was there with a new picture or story. Leah had no real experience of children nor had she ever bonded with one. She was an only child, no nieces or nephews, she'd held the odd baby of friends but been eager to return them. 

But Lily made each day special, count. She was a joy and she wiped away the loneliness she had felt. Having no family or real friends, of course she was often in the pub with her co workers but they were not her friends. 

And then there was Serena, she felt a connection, people would say it was impossible to bond with someone you know so little about. Yet Serena was real, there and raw, yet so strong and in control. She had felt safe, it was true she had made the moves and it was something that disgusted her on many levels, it was not who she was and yet, yes there was a yet, the pull of so great. 

It was over though of course, before it had even started and Serena had held her so close and for so long when she had said goodbye. She had not prepared for that, she had planned her goodbye and that had not been part of it. She had come away feeling closer and further away from her. 

Of course their paths crossed as they where in the same building but they saw far less of each other and it hurt, she had felt she had found something in Serena. Somewhere to feel safe and secure, she had never had that. 

When she had awoken the day was bright, the sun the colour of Lily's hair, she had washed and dressed quickly eager to see her small friend they had planned to finish a jigsaw they had been working on. 

Arriving at work nothing warned her, everything was as it always was. She had collected a coffee, smiled at the new girl behind the till as her snuck the chocolate brownie she had brought into her pocket, she will share with her friend. 

Walking into the ward it was light and bright as always, the place full of sickness they fought to hide away from the children. Entering Lily's room, the bed was empty it did not cause her panic as she often went for tests. 

And then she saw them, Claire and Dan. Huddled in the quiet lounge, one look as Claire lifted her head told her all she needed to know. Everything stopped, no sound or movement until the door opened and Claire siently moved into her arms "she asked for you" a small whisper that prieced through her. 

She had spent the rest of her shift in a blur, cut off as she forced away any emotion. She had helped Lily's parents to dress her, the bright yellow dress with red flowers she so loved/had loved and the shiney red shoes, her dorothy shoes that would always lead her home. 

It had been quick Dan had explained, of course Lily had been sick, very sick, the joy so hiding it at times. An infection they thought was under control sucked the life from her, she had whispered Leah's name and thankfully fallen asleep. She would have been unaware unconscious by the time her body shut down. 

Making sure they knew all they would need to know for the next few days and promising to take care of Lily she had said goodbye and once put of sight, out of use she had fled. 

Finding herself here, cold, alone. "The stars are those we love like the suns beams through the darkness so you can also find me" Lily had known without question how to sooth and see what people needed. 

She needed, right now she needed to be hidden and held. 

"I heard, I am so sorry I left you so alone" the voice she knew, needed as she felt herself embraced in warmth as Serena pulled her into her arms resting her chin on Leah's head as she stroked her back, soothing her as Leah finally cried, allowed the sounds and despair.  
Allowed with each caress her walls to fall, her shell to crack open and all she felt to weave, burning her face into the soft fabric of the cardigan she wore she allowed the exhaustion and pain to take hold. 

"It may seem as if we must distance ourselves from them, from pain. We are told we can not grieve each loss and death" the words washed over her like song as Serena lifted her head staring into her eyes Leah saw the redness, knew she too had cried "but we must, how can we be. How can we offer and care if we hold back" she felt Serena traced her cheek, her chest hurt the pain so real "you must never regret an action of love. Nothing loved ever ends" Serena lent forward pressing her lips against her own as Leah sighed.


End file.
